Humour

Questions about Heterosexuality

Often, as gay people, we are asked some of the most ridiculous questions. Below are a similar set of questions written and directed for heterosexuals

  • What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

  • When and how did you decide that you were a heterosexual?

  • Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?

  • Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

  • Isn’t it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

  • Heterosexuals have histories of failure in gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality in fear of rejection?

  • If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn’t prefer it?

  • If your heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?

  • With whom have you discussed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

  • Your heterosexuality doesn’t offend me as long as you don’t try to force it on me. Why do people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?

  • If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?

  • The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

  • Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

  •  How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice, and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, God-given homosexual potential?

  • Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted sex roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

  •  How can you enjoy a fully satisfying sexual experience or deep emotional rapport with a person of the opposite sex, when the obvious physical, biological, and temperamental differences between you are so vast? How can a man understand what pleases a woman sexually, or vice-versa?

  •  Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

  • With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiralling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

  • How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you, considering the menace of overpopulation?

  • There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you want to. Have you ever tried therapy?

  • A disproportionate number of criminals, welfare recipients, and other irresponsible or anti-social types are heterosexual. Why would you want to hire a heterosexual for a responsible position?

  • Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust other of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?

  • Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

  • Why do you make a point of attributing heterosexuality to famous people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?

  • Could you really trust a heterosexual therapist/counsellor to be objective and unbiased? Don’t you fear that s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own leanings?